How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary – If you want to make solid friends, become more popular, succeed in startups, find clients, sell more products or create a lot of charisma in your personality, then this book is for you.
Friends, Dale Carnegie wrote this book in 1936. Till now it has become one of the most read books in the world. This book is considered number one for personality development.
If you want to be successful in life, whether it is in a job, business, or any profession, this book is a must-read.
This book is divided into 4 parts.
The summary points of each part are given below:
How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
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Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile
- Remember a person’s name
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Part 3: Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
- If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
- Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic to the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Part 4: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
- Let the other person save face
- Praise every improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
- Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.
Let us now understand these points one by one better
How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
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Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People : How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
1) Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
Nobody likes to hear their condemnation. When we do this, the front becomes defensive.
He starts giving arguments in his defense. He also stops giving respect to the slanderer.
So our relationship with him is not good.
So friends, do not criticize or complain, etc. to anyone. Don’t make fun of anyone.
2 ) Give honest and sincere appreciation
By praising others, you can win their hearts. In today’s world, everyone is busy trying to find out the fault of others. Nobody appreciates anyone.
Everyone considers himself more than the other. In such a situation, if you praise others, then respect will automatically arise for you in their mind.
Therefore, if someone has done any small work for you, then sincerely praise him.
Appreciate his work. With this, that person will do better work for you in the future also.
Or will definitely help you when the time comes.
3) Arouse in the other person an eager want.
If you want others to do some work, then they do not show much interest in it.
Even if you do that work, do it only considering it as a burden.
For this you first understand their point of view. What do they think about that work?
Then you ask them to work by mixing their thinking with your thinking.
They will feel that their thinking is being implemented.
And they will start doing the work very diligently.
How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
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Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You : How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
1) Become genuinely interested in other people.
Most people want someone to show interest in their interests.
For example, if someone has a passion for reading novels, then genuinely shows interest in it. Talk about novels. Ask, which is his favorite novel? Or which genre they like to read.
With this, that person will talk to you for hours. will be connected with you.
And will treat you like your friend. Because he will feel that you both have the same interests.
But the interest should not be fake. Really try to learn two things from others.
2 ) Smile
Always smile when you see people. No one likes people who are always angry. People consider him arrogant and finicky. And no one wants to be their friend either. A smile shows that you are a good person.
3) Remember a person’s name
The sweetest word a person finds in any language is his name. If you call someone by his name, he will understand that you appreciate him a lot. Then he will be ready to do any work for you. Because he wants to respect you too.
So make a habit of remembering people’s names. To remember someone’s name, repeat his name five times in your mind. Will be remembered
4) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Many people keep chanting their own melody while talking. They don’t even give others a chance to speak.
This will make the other man lose respect for you. You will feel stupid.
So give others a chance to talk. Listen carefully to what others say.
This will make others feel that you respect him. Then he will also respect you.
5) Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
Some people are very selfish. Always see your interest. Even by doing this, we lose our respect in others’ hearts. Then what good will the other do to us?
So talk about the interests of others in everything.
6) Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Make the other man realize how important he is. The cleaning worker of a company should also be valued as much as the CEO.
By doing this, that employee will start working twice as diligently without your speaking.
You will not lose anything by giving value to others. Rather you will increase your own value. People would love to work for you.
How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
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Part 3: Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking : How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
1 ) The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
Friends, there is no point in arguing. The person in front considers himself either defeated or won by you. In both cases, your work will be spoiled. He will feel bad if he loses and you will feel bad if he wins.
So this will create sourness between the two of you. Whereas your goal should be to maintain sweetness in relationships.
You must have seen it. How do people debate on politics for hours and hours?
Even if they keep on arguing for years, no result will come out. On the contrary, friendship breaks down.
And which leader does the work of whose household? Then what is the use of arguing nonsense?
Do the discussion. But if it starts becoming a debate then change the topic.
Avoid arguments at all costs. By this, both time and mind will not be wasted.
2 ) Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
Never judge the opinion of others. Due to this, their ego gets hurt. And then you won’t be able to use them. Nor will they help you.
Praise the good points of his opinion but if something is wrong then explain it logically. That this thing in this thing is very good but this is the problem.
With this, the person in front will try to understand your point. And it will be accepted because you did not let him feel bad.
3) If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
If you have a mistake, ignore your ego and accept it quickly. and try to fix it. A mistake can happen to anyone.
Because of this, other people will consider you with a big heart.
4) Begin in a friendly way.
If you want to talk about any work, then start in a friendly way. Not like a boss or dictator.
Everyone wants to talk to a friendly person. By becoming more friendly, you can easily get work done by your employees too.
5 ) Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes
Don’t show your intelligence by asking tough questions to people. Ask them about easy things. To which they can easily answer. This will boost the morale of those people.
And he will consider you a good person. And will always be ready to do your work.
6) Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
No one wants to hear others brag. Everyone wants that they get a chance to express themselves.
So give people a chance to speak. This will make them feel respected by you.
7) Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
If you have to give some work to someone. So take suggestions from that person on that work.
If his suggestion matches your suggestion then let it be his idea.
And say yes I really liked your suggestion. That man will start doing that work for you with full dedication.
8) Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
If the other person doesn’t agree with you on something, don’t try to cut him off.
Rather, try to understand what he is trying to say.
There must be some reason why that man is saying that thing. Discuss it with him.
This will make that person feel respected. Will give you heartfelt respect too.
9) Be sympathetic to the other person’s ideas and desires.
Others also have desires and dreams. If they reveal them, don’t ignore them.
Rather respect them. No matter what that desire may be, increase their expectation.
This will also increase their respect for you in their hearts.
10) Appeal to the nobler motives.
Find a good point in the other man’s work. Then link your work to that too.
With this, the person in front will do that work faithfully. Because you have also included his point of view in that work.
11) Dramatize your ideas.
Whatever idea you have, don’t tell it in a normal way. Rather, tell it with enthusiasm. What are the benefits of that idea, and how much impact it will have on everyone, tell them all?
Tell the idea in an interesting way so that the listener enjoys it and gets motivation too. Only then will he try to work on this idea.
12 ) Throw down a challenge.
We should inspire others to do any work. For example, if your friend does not exercise and you want to get him done, then you ask him if he can do 5 push-ups.
Everyone knows he will do it. But when he shows it, you praise him. And say that he can see.
Then give him a big challenge.
Can he do 100?
Now he will start thinking about completing this challenge. And inspired by your words, he will start exercising daily. You can apply this technique in any area.
How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
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Part 4: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
1 ) Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
No one does the work of a strict or bitter boss from the heart. Because he keeps scolding others. He keeps finding faults in his work. He doesn’t even appreciate his work.
Who will like all this?
If the work of others is praised, then they do everything with all their heart.
Therefore, never flaunt authority over others.
The one in front will do the work out of fear. But will not put a hundred percent effort from the heart. Because he will hate you inside.
Therefore, whenever you ask someone for work, take care of their respect. Be sure to admire their talent and hard work. This is the quality of a good leader.
2 ) Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
When others make a mistake, many people start scolding. Burns them in front of everyone.
Due to this, that person keeps grudges and hard feelings from such people inside.
Therefore, if others make a mistake, do not speak in front of everyone. Rather talk separately. By explaining that too. And tell the solution to fix that mistake.
3) Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
If you tell about the mistake of others, then first you talk about any small mistake of yours.
Say that – man, a mistake happens to everyone. This happened to me once. Just take care going ahead.
Tell something in such a way that the person in front does not feel embarrassed. And that’s from your point of view Will be very impressed. And your whole life will respect you.
4) Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
No one wants to be given orders. It seems full of humiliation. Therefore, if you want to give any work to someone, then request or speak by giving suggestions.
This will not make the person feel bad. And he will definitely do your job.
5) Let the other person save face
If an employee ever makes a mistake, do not scold him in front of everyone. Rather talk separately.
Give him a chance to improve. That person will start respecting you twice.
6) Praise every improvement.
If anyone does a little good deed, then definitely praise him. this boosts his morale
get boost. And that person goes on to do even better work.
7) Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
When someone completes his work very honestly, praise him in front of everyone.
Or praise anyone who has any talent in front of everyone. With this, the reputation of that person will be good in front of everyone.
That man will start respecting you from the heart.
8 ) Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
If someone makes a mistake, make him realize that the mistake is not too big.
And it can be easily improved. With this, that person will be your fan forever.
9 ) Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.
If you have to get something done, don’t make it too complicated. what about that job employee, Thanks also keep his wish in mind and give him some freedom. Don’t get carried away with everything.
How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
